Heal a broken heart,

How to heal a broken heart

5:16 AM UrbanModish 0 Comments


Hello there,

If you are reading this, we both know why you happened to chance on this page.

Breaking up with someone is ALWAYS hard. No matter how long you were dating, It is always going to be difficult. That heavy feeling in your chest, that lump in your throat, those fleeting memories that play in your head are all a package that comes along with a heart break.

I’m not going to tell you any different from the innumerable articles you may have read. Because as clichéd as they may sound, they are in fact the best thing to do. I went through a separation a year ago and I was grateful for the support I did have around me, however, there were times that I had to manage my emotions on my own. When I reflect back on those days, the below helped me a lot, and I hope it helps you too.

Acceptance

This 10 letter word has changed my entire perspective on life. Irrespective of whether you broke up or your partner broke up with you, acceptance of the situation is something that will help you heal faster.  Acceptance of the reason you two decided to move on in separate directions, acceptance of the fact that you’d have to do a lot of things by yourself, that you need to cherish those memories as memories and that THIS choice or situation is temporary and as my favorite quote goes “ This too shall pass” 

  Acknowledge

Acknowledge how you feel rather that suppressing it. It is completely alright to feel like you are a mess. It is alright if you feel like crying at the drop of a hat, if everything reminds you of your partner, if you want to socialize, if you don’t want to. Anything you feel like is alright, except harming yourself. YES, I would never ever want YOU to harm yourself just because something didn’t work out. 

Take the time to heal, learn and understand how you feel - anger, sadness, hurt, disappointment are all emotions that you would feel. Allow them, do not suppress any of it. Embrace them all, they make you more of you

Introspection

Do take some time out for yourself and understand how you feel. Your feelings of hurt, anger, rejection, hatred is all valid. However, knowing how you feel is imperative for self-healing.  I don’t intend on encouraging to walk around like a mess owning your feelings. I purely intend on having you acknowledge and accept your feelings and comprehend why it didn’t work out and what you need in a relationship. 

The more you reflect on what makes you happy, and how  beneficial this is - the better you heal.

Grieve

Take your own time to grieve. It need not be defined by another person. This was my biggest mistake. I forced myself to being busy and deprived myself of self-healing. I took the onus of being strong so my family and friends don’t worry much. But I ended up doing more harm than good for myself, and I realized that sooner than later. Grieve, till your soul heals. I feel the day you can tell your story without choking is when you have truly healed. And today, I’m so proud to say that not only have I healed, but I know what I want.

You can grieve for a day, a week, a month or even years. It's your emotion, don't let anyone decide or judge you for the time you took to move on. You know how you feel better than anyone else.

Indulge

Indulge in an activity that makes you happy. It needn’t be something extraordinary, it can be as simple as writing or walking on the beach. For me, it was running. Running was (is) so therapeutic for me, that I continued it whenever I was stressed or felt low. Indulge in what makes you happy, or takes your mind off things. Keeping yourself busy is also extremely helpful, as it keeps your mind occupied. However, at the same time - don’t forget to heal your soul.

Apart from running, going to church helped me a lot. I always felt like I was recharging my soul for the week (as crazy as that may sound). I mentally visualized being happy and healed and today here I am, writing this down. 

Support System

Open up to your support system and not everyone. Learn to distinguish between people who want to listen to enjoy and gossip about your problems later and people who really care. I was luckily blessed with the latter, and once I did get everything out of my system I was at peace. Towards the end, I started listening to what I was saying and it indeed helped me realize how strong I was.

Certain people would listen only for their benefit or just 'to listen'. It annoys me even now, when people respond with "it's okay" or "chill".  I prefer not having deep intense conversations with people who respond to any given situation with rehearsed replies. 

Choose your circle wisely. 

Learning

I believe every relation teaches us something if we are willing to learn. Learn from your mistakes and analyse the why’s, what’s and how’s. They help you to better understand what you want out of your relations. This period, although it’s a period of hurt and anger will be your best teacher and will also help filter out and help get ‘your’ people.

You will emerge a better, stronger, empathetic individual who knows what he/she wants and believe you me, there's nothing more attractive than that.


I hope these help you to heal from what you are going through. It’s not going to be easy, but this journey is going to help you in ways you would have never imagined it will. Your heart will learn to love, you will learn to believe again, your endless tears will cease, you will laugh and Life will surprise you.

This comes from someone who has healed and is in love with life and herself all over again. And if I can do it, my love you too can. I wish you the best in this journey. Sending you loads of love and good vibes.

To love and endless amounts of love.



Much Love,
xoxo

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