Hello,

I double check to see if this is you

So beautiful and strong

Going through all your phases

Head held high

Armed with love and kindness

The world tried to change you

And change you did

But for the better

You took all the hurt, embraced it

And created you, so hard to ignore

You know what you want

Unabashed and unapologetic

Had I known this is how you would make me in the future

I would have smiled through it all

But now that I have shed, and shed enough of me

I love seeing the me, being the new you.

I saw you standing across the length of the room

Staring, staring away

I couldn’t hold your stare, and looked away

Afraid that you’d pierce through my heart

I stood still not wanting to breathe you in

Afraid I might get intoxicated

But you looked, and looked and you knew

That all I was, was holding back from you

You turned to leave, and my heart skipped a beat

I stopped breathing, else I would have screamed

Asking you to stop, praying that you would

Hoping that you’d see that all I wanted was to be held by you

But you left thinking it would be for the better

And here I was looking down, and taking another broken piece

And hoping I’d be whole again.

How would you know if you are in love, he asked?

Her eyes smiled at his question, she blinked tucking away a strand of hair and adjusted herself on the edge of the chair, and got mentally ready to answer his question.

‘Love is effortless’ she shrugged ‘although you need to make an effort every day’ she continued thoughtfully.

‘it’s calming where you can be yourself, and the same time know that you being you, might hurt the person you love, so therein you mold your being to be empathetic of the one you love. You give more and expect less, because in giving, you are making certain to yourself that you are capable of loving someone fiercely. By expecting less, you are acknowledging the fact that your partner has his flaws. It’s a balance of understanding that no one is perfect and at times it takes two people to make a perfect life, each providing their set of skills based on their experiences’.

Satisfied she looked back at him and smiled, and inched closer and delicately held the handle of her cup.

He looked at her tiny nuances and absorbed all of those tiny creases that appeared on her nose while she spoke. That crinkle of her eyes. The way her lips moved, while she spoke, her constant nose jab to adjust her glasses.

‘But isn’t that a recipe to get hurt?’ he nudged her on.

‘Absolutely’, she smiled back.

‘Isn’t that life?’ she asked, raising her chin.

‘Isn’t love supposed to be devoid of hurt and also easier’ he asked matter of fact.

‘Aaah’ she exclaimed, gingerly placing down her cup, and pushing herself into the chair.

‘Love is the best teacher, you’d ever find, she teaches you everything you need to know about yourself. Your strengths and weakness, your resilience, your ego. How stubborn you are, how silly you can get. Everything. At the same time, it teaches you that every bruise you get on the way is going to heal in time. People you meet, will eventually teach you a lot but only if you are willing to learn’

‘But there is this person, you must never cease to love no matter what. Even if you forget at some point, you must always start over. No matter how busy you may get’

She looked over, knowing he would want to pipe in with an answer, ‘your parents?’ he asked looking at her for the answer.

‘No, I mean you must obviously not cease to love them’ she smiled, ‘I’m speaking about oneself. Never cease to  love yourself. We put ourselves through so much on a daily basis in terms of expectations, love, hurt. We never cease to stop and appreciate ourselves and say how amazing we are. We never compliment ourselves, we never give ourselves that unconditional love that we are so willing to give our partners. The moment we stop allowing ourselves to be taken for granted, and develop a loving relation with ourselves we automatically open ourselves to a more satisfying human experience. To be at that stage all we need is consciousness. That in my opinion is love at its finest. When you are in love with who you are, by embracing all your flaws and talent, you never allow anyone to make you doubt yourself. And a person like that would make you, you’.

‘That definitely sounds like a lot of work’, he exclaimed shrugging and looking away.

‘Well if you can’t take the time to love yourself, how would you make an effort to love someone else?’ she quipped with a knowing smile.

She waved for the bill, nodded saying she was done and exchanged pleasantries and walked away.

At times the only effort you should take is knowing when to walk away and walk away gracefully.

Hello there,

If you are reading this, we both know why you happened to chance on this page.

Breaking up with someone is ALWAYS hard. No matter how long you were dating, It is always going to be difficult. That heavy feeling in your chest, that lump in your throat, those fleeting memories that play in your head are all a package that comes along with a heart break.

I’m not going to tell you any different from the innumerable articles you may have read. Because as clichéd as they may sound, they are in fact the best thing to do. I went through a separation a year ago and I was grateful for the support I did have around me, however, there were times that I had to manage my emotions on my own. When I reflect back on those days, the below helped me a lot, and I hope it helps you too.

This 10 letter word has changed my entire perspective on life. Irrespective of whether you broke up or your partner broke up with you, acceptance of the situation is something that will help you heal faster.  Acceptance of the reason you two decided to move on in separate directions, acceptance of the fact that you’d have to do a lot of things by yourself, that you need to cherish those memories as memories and that THIS choice or situation is temporary and as my favorite quote goes “ This too shall pass” 

Acknowledge how you feel rather that suppressing it. It is completely alright to feel like you are a mess. It is alright if you feel like crying at the drop of a hat, if everything reminds you of your partner, if you want to socialize, if you don’t want to. Anything you feel like is alright, except harming yourself. YES, I would never ever want YOU to harm yourself just because something didn’t work out. 

Take the time to heal, learn and understand how you feel - anger, sadness, hurt, disappointment are all emotions that you would feel. Allow them, do not suppress any of it. Embrace them all, they make you more of you

Do take some time out for yourself and understand how you feel. Your feelings of hurt, anger, rejection, hatred is all valid. However, knowing how you feel is imperative for self-healing.  I don’t intend on encouraging to walk around like a mess owning your feelings. I purely intend on having you acknowledge and accept your feelings and comprehend why it didn’t work out and what you need in a relationship. 

The more you reflect on what makes you happy, and how  beneficial this is - the better you heal.

Take your own time to grieve. It need not be defined by another person. This was my biggest mistake. I forced myself to being busy and deprived myself of self-healing. I took the onus of being strong so my family and friends don’t worry much. But I ended up doing more harm than good for myself, and I realized that sooner than later. Grieve, till your soul heals. I feel the day you can tell your story without choking is when you have truly healed. And today, I’m so proud to say that not only have I healed, but I know what I want.

You can grieve for a day, a week, a month or even years. It's your emotion, don't let anyone decide or judge you for the time you took to move on. You know how you feel better than anyone else.

Indulge in an activity that makes you happy. It needn’t be something extraordinary, it can be as simple as writing or walking on the beach. For me, it was running. Running was (is) so therapeutic for me, that I continued it whenever I was stressed or felt low. Indulge in what makes you happy, or takes your mind off things. Keeping yourself busy is also extremely helpful, as it keeps your mind occupied. However, at the same time - don’t forget to heal your soul.

Apart from running, going to church helped me a lot. I always felt like I was recharging my soul for the week (as crazy as that may sound). I mentally visualized being happy and healed and today here I am, writing this down. 

Open up to your support system and not everyone. Learn to distinguish between people who want to listen to enjoy and gossip about your problems later and people who really care. I was luckily blessed with the latter, and once I did get everything out of my system I was at peace. Towards the end, I started listening to what I was saying and it indeed helped me realize how strong I was.

Certain people would listen only for their benefit or just 'to listen'. It annoys me even now, when people respond with "it's okay" or "chill".  I prefer not having deep intense conversations with people who respond to any given situation with rehearsed replies. 

Choose your circle wisely. 

I believe every relation teaches us something if we are willing to learn. Learn from your mistakes and analyse the why’s, what’s and how’s. They help you to better understand what you want out of your relations. This period, although it’s a period of hurt and anger will be your best teacher and will also help filter out and help get ‘your’ people.

You will emerge a better, stronger, empathetic individual who knows what he/she wants and believe you me, there's nothing more attractive than that.

I hope these help you to heal from what you are going through. It’s not going to be easy, but this journey is going to help you in ways you would have never imagined it will. Your heart will learn to love, you will learn to believe again, your endless tears will cease, you will laugh and Life will surprise you.

This comes from someone who has healed and is in love with life and herself all over again. And if I can do it, my love you too can. I wish you the best in this journey. Sending you loads of love and good vibes.

To love and endless amounts of love.

Much Love,

xoxo

My Solo Travel was nothing short of a soap series – it had all elements of drama, emotions, fear, relations, self-discovery, tears, laughter and loads of fun. As Rumi said, travel brings power and love back into your life. It does in ways that you wouldn’t be able to comprehend, but you’d be glad that you chose to do it.

For me this happened at the right time. I was going through a lot of self-healing, redefining my goals and trying to understand what I wanted from life. A part of me was always lost. Lost in emotions that were tightly wrapped around my inner eyes, which made me oblivious to a lot of things around me (Sorry for metaphors, I function better that way).

Being alone was a very scary prospect for me, before my travel. Today, I feel being single and responsible for my actions and decisions is a luxury that I used to always crave and desire.  I’m not propagating for singlehood at all. I know I will find my mine, but until then I need to find me and enjoy being me.

Going on a solo trip was the scariest decision of my life. I always admired people travelling solo and wondered how they did it. It must take a lot of courage to just travel by yourself. It must also mean that you enjoy your company so much, that you can actually travel alone.

I was staring at my screen which displayed my ticket to Tbilisi and all I had to do was to click and make the booking. I WAS SCARED. The unknown scared me so much that I was almost about to not go. I called my bestie, I just wanted her to egg me on to book my ticket (Yes I needed that push). She said exactly what I wanted to hear – BOOK THAT DAMN TICKET.  And so I did it. Step one was taken care of.

I zeroed down on Georgia, as my first travel destination for many reasons

I prepared my Itinerary on a daily basis for every single day. YES, every single day. Doing so made me confident that I knew what I was doing every day and also, it didn’t allow my mind to wander over possibilities of the 'what if’s and how’s'

I booked hostels on Booking.com (not sponsored) as I didn’t have to make any upfront payment and that meant that my schedule was flexible. I love having an organized trip, but at the same time I wanted my trip to surprise me (yes, I can be difficult to understand, but I’m sure many of you get it). Check my Itinerary here

Research is so important when you are travelling. It’s important to know not everything but something (imp details) about the place you are visiting - Weather, Culture, language, transportation, and food habits.

I narrowed down places I wanted to visit in every region of Georgia and kept narrowing it further down to match a 10 day itinerary. And I had a perfect (or so I thought) travel plan. I was so glad my list changed drastically.

My Trip was all things unexpected and some just like I wanted to. I traveled like a local (loved every bit of that), visited markets to get fresh produce, ate what the locals ate, drank what they drank and it was just a surreal uplifting and enriching experience.

As an individual, who was dependent on a lot of factors – this trip made me reconsider a lot of ME. It helped me like nothing could. This is the therapy that we all do so badly need at times. And what comes out of this is a different person.

Everyone will have a different experience and a different take back, because all our chapters are written differently. If you are contemplating, like I was about that solo trip, believe me, call your bestie get that push and just go.  I believe that the place chooses you and not the other way around.

Georgia wasn’t on my list, it became mine after my endless research and it just kept popping up and I knew I had to go to Georgia.  Let your heart decide and trust me, it will be an experience that you will hold dear.

Oh and I did get lost a lot (but also, I have pathetic navigation skills). But the best part of getting lost was finding myself.

Take that trip. You will thank yourself you made that choice.

Loads of love and hugs.

She was a mirror of what she didn’t want to be

Holding her pain and tears, she became ice cold

To everyone around, she seemed normal

But she knew she was changing to someone she didn’t want to be

She grew quieter on the inside

And laughed loudly on the outside, to hush her demons

She knew she was breaking from within, but she held on

She knew she had strength and she made herself hold on to the pain

Little did she realize that the pieces she was holding onto

Were ripping her soul apart

She knew it was time – time to set her soul free

She was prepared to embrace her wounds

She was prepared to bare them out

She realized that her wounds would heal only if she accepted that she was hurt

She exhaled her pain through words that she had hidden

Her tears spoke more than she could express

And her wounds started healing

She let go of the very thing that hurt her, that chained her

That made her feel lonely and suffocated her from within

She was done with her brave front

She was ready to expose her vulnerability and fears

And in doing so, she grew stronger

She emerged as soon she embraced her weakness

As soon as she accepted her faults

She rose

She rose to realize that it’s alright to fall,

It’s alright to break

It’s alright to feel hurt and to be vulnerable

Because, it’s only when you are broken that the light passes through