musings
On Self Love
How would you know if you are in love, he asked?
Her eyes smiled at his question, she blinked tucking away a strand
of hair and adjusted herself on the edge of the chair, and got mentally ready
to answer his question.
‘Love is effortless’ she shrugged ‘although you need to make
an effort every day’ she continued thoughtfully.
‘it’s calming where you can be yourself, and the same time
know that you being you, might hurt the person you love, so therein you mold your being to be empathetic of the one you love. You give more and expect less, because in giving, you are
making certain to yourself that you are capable of loving someone fiercely. By
expecting less, you are acknowledging the fact that your partner has his flaws.
It’s a balance of understanding that no one is perfect and at times it takes
two people to make a perfect life, each providing their set of skills based on
their experiences’.
Satisfied she looked back at him and smiled, and inched
closer and delicately held the handle of her cup.
He looked at her tiny nuances and absorbed all of those tiny
creases that appeared on her nose while she spoke. That crinkle of her eyes.
The way her lips moved, while she spoke, her constant nose jab to adjust her
glasses.
‘But isn’t that a recipe to get hurt?’ he nudged her on.
‘Absolutely’, she smiled back.
‘Isn’t that life?’ she asked, raising her chin.
‘Isn’t love supposed to be devoid of hurt and also easier’
he asked matter of fact.
‘Aaah’ she exclaimed, gingerly placing down her cup, and
pushing herself into the chair.
‘Love is the best teacher, you’d ever find, she teaches you
everything you need to know about yourself. Your strengths and weakness, your
resilience, your ego. How stubborn you are, how silly you can get. Everything.
At the same time, it teaches you that every bruise you get on the way is going
to heal in time. People you meet, will eventually teach you a lot but only if you
are willing to learn’
‘But there is this person, you must never cease to love no
matter what. Even if you forget at some point, you must always start over. No
matter how busy you may get’
She looked over, knowing he would want to pipe in with an
answer, ‘your parents?’ he asked looking at her for the answer.
‘No, I mean you must obviously not cease to love them’ she
smiled, ‘I’m speaking about oneself. Never cease to love yourself. We put ourselves through so
much on a daily basis in terms of expectations, love, hurt. We never cease to
stop and appreciate ourselves and say how amazing we are. We never compliment
ourselves, we never give ourselves that unconditional love that we are so
willing to give our partners. The moment we stop allowing ourselves to be taken
for granted, and develop a loving relation with ourselves we automatically open
ourselves to a more satisfying human experience. To be at that stage all we
need is consciousness. That in my opinion is love at its finest. When you are
in love with who you are, by embracing all your flaws and talent, you never
allow anyone to make you doubt yourself. And a person like that would make you,
you’.
‘That definitely sounds like a lot of work’, he exclaimed
shrugging and looking away.
‘Well if you can’t take the time to love yourself, how would
you make an effort to love someone else?’ she quipped with a knowing smile.
She waved for the bill, nodded saying she was done and
exchanged pleasantries and walked away.
At times the only effort you should take is knowing when to
walk away and walk away gracefully.
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