NOT DEFINED BY COLOR
This article came into being post a conversation with a mom who was worried about the constant bullying her gorgeous (dark skinned) daughter was facing in school. She asked me to talk about my struggles of growing up dark skinned and how this has to stop. I did argue with her, stating that It's normal for kids to be teased at this age and that everyone goes through it. Post our conversation, I felt it was important to let people know my thoughts on the same.
Growing up as a dusky/dark skinned girl was not easy. Certain comments, taunts get ingrained in your system at an early age and at times it’s difficult to get over them.
I grew up being called black forest cake and ‘kaali billi’ (black cat). If you had to ask me then what my favorite colors were, I would say black and white without thinking twice. I had decided back then that those are the only two colors that would suit my skin tone.
I was also teased by my elder siblings that I was adopted (haven’t we all heard that, lol) since I was dark skinned and neither of them were.
I was very shy (hard to believe for those who know me now), and didn’t have many friends (gosh, i do sound like an Ekta kapoor soap saga).
But somehow, something changes about me post grade 10 (still a mystery). I vaguely remember standing in front of the mirror. My reflection screamed and pointed out all my strengths and flaws, and chided me for putting myself down (exaggerated as per my current mind, it should have been less dramatic). Post that, a new ME emerged from the cocoon I had built for myself. A cocoon with low self-esteem and a feeling that I wasn’t pretty enough.
I strongly believe that every individual on this planet has the will power to not be enveloped in societal pressures and to break free and embrace themselves. Let’s stop hiding behind the ‘I’m a VICTIM’ tag.
Yes, society does throw fair skinned people at us and make us believe they are beautiful. But we fail to understand that irrespective of their skin color they are placed on a pedestal because of their sheer hard work, dedication and yes contacts.
As humans, we have a tendency to play Victim and blame society, media and other mediums for making us feel insignificant. I truly believe that if anyone can make you feel insignificant, less desirable, talent-less it’s YOU and YOU alone. Yes, I have been teased when I was a child, and I have also (shamelessly) teased another individual based on his/her height, skin color, or built. Haven’t you? Then stop being the Victim here.
Let’s talk about matrimony columns now. Yes I also received my “fair” (pun intended) share of advertisements/calls which called for tall/short slim/medium built FAIR brides. Why blame those ads? Everyone has their own inkling of what their better half should be like. For some it’s physical appearance, for others it’s education, family, status etc. So why are we just pointing out the “FAIR” bit. That’s highly ‘unfair’. Our life is too short to fuss over trivial things like physical appearance, religion, economic status etc.
Let’s all see each other as human beings and educate our younger generation on the same. Let them not feel insignificant because of their skin tone, their physical appearance, built etc.
Yes, we do LOOK at an individual first and then understand them, and appearance does matter. But let’s not solely be fooled by a person’s appearance. There is more to the book than it’s cover.
Let’s all remember that at the end either fair or dark or anything in between you will either be eaten by maggots or burnt into ash. Neither will the maggots discriminate nor will the fire.
What will remain is how YOU lived, WHAT legacy you have left behind.
Growing up as a dusky/dark skinned girl was not easy. Certain comments, taunts get ingrained in your system at an early age and at times it’s difficult to get over them.
I grew up being called black forest cake and ‘kaali billi’ (black cat). If you had to ask me then what my favorite colors were, I would say black and white without thinking twice. I had decided back then that those are the only two colors that would suit my skin tone.
I was also teased by my elder siblings that I was adopted (haven’t we all heard that, lol) since I was dark skinned and neither of them were.
I was very shy (hard to believe for those who know me now), and didn’t have many friends (gosh, i do sound like an Ekta kapoor soap saga).
But somehow, something changes about me post grade 10 (still a mystery). I vaguely remember standing in front of the mirror. My reflection screamed and pointed out all my strengths and flaws, and chided me for putting myself down (exaggerated as per my current mind, it should have been less dramatic). Post that, a new ME emerged from the cocoon I had built for myself. A cocoon with low self-esteem and a feeling that I wasn’t pretty enough.
I strongly believe that every individual on this planet has the will power to not be enveloped in societal pressures and to break free and embrace themselves. Let’s stop hiding behind the ‘I’m a VICTIM’ tag.
Yes, society does throw fair skinned people at us and make us believe they are beautiful. But we fail to understand that irrespective of their skin color they are placed on a pedestal because of their sheer hard work, dedication and yes contacts.
As humans, we have a tendency to play Victim and blame society, media and other mediums for making us feel insignificant. I truly believe that if anyone can make you feel insignificant, less desirable, talent-less it’s YOU and YOU alone. Yes, I have been teased when I was a child, and I have also (shamelessly) teased another individual based on his/her height, skin color, or built. Haven’t you? Then stop being the Victim here.
Let’s talk about matrimony columns now. Yes I also received my “fair” (pun intended) share of advertisements/calls which called for tall/short slim/medium built FAIR brides. Why blame those ads? Everyone has their own inkling of what their better half should be like. For some it’s physical appearance, for others it’s education, family, status etc. So why are we just pointing out the “FAIR” bit. That’s highly ‘unfair’. Our life is too short to fuss over trivial things like physical appearance, religion, economic status etc.
Let’s all see each other as human beings and educate our younger generation on the same. Let them not feel insignificant because of their skin tone, their physical appearance, built etc.
Yes, we do LOOK at an individual first and then understand them, and appearance does matter. But let’s not solely be fooled by a person’s appearance. There is more to the book than it’s cover.
Let’s all remember that at the end either fair or dark or anything in between you will either be eaten by maggots or burnt into ash. Neither will the maggots discriminate nor will the fire.
What will remain is how YOU lived, WHAT legacy you have left behind.
Celebrate and LOVE yourself!
P:S - I stepped away from black and white long back, and have added colors in my life.
